You might be a redneck if:

You know your a redneck if:

You tell someone to take a swig instead of take a drink.
You say quit fussing instead of quite argueing.
You light a fire in your yard and the firestation sends out their trucks to put it out.
If you give your dog scraps instead of dogfood.
If you teach your cat to use the toilet.
If you go fishing in your swimming pool, because you have thrown fish in there the year before.
If you line your kids up to mash bumps on your back.
If grease is your main ingredient in your gravy.
If you grew up on chocolate gravy.
If you make your own soap.
If you put kerosine on your head to kill lice.
If you play softball in a cow pasture.
If you say mash instead of push the button.
If you threathen to whip your kids with a hickory.