You might be a redneck if:

If you play softball in a cow pasture.
If you smack a horse on the rear and it almost kicks you.
You have a 55 gallon drum as your septic tank.
If you can tell the difference in smells in the country, such as cow, pig, chicken.
You use paper towels as curtains.
If you use a blade of grass as your toothpick.
You saw a smell bacon when you see a policecar.
If you pass by a sewer and like the smell.
You take a bath with a waterhose.
If you say I'm getting a hickory and use it as a whip.
If you go deer hunting in your own backyard.