You might be a redneck if:
Your truck bumper is taller than your girlfriend.
If your belly hangs over your britches.
If you marry your cousin.
If you use the word mash instead of push. Ex Mash the button
If you don't know the difference between a real word and one you made up.
If you use the word till in a sentence instead of until.
If your nose hairs come down to your lip.
If you have a pig as a pet.
If you go to flea markets on the weekends.
If you park your car in the driveway and it gets stuck in the mud.
If you don't clean your house until you have company.
If you drive your tractor to work.
If you give directions to someone and tell them it is the third gravel road past the red barn, then turn and go five miles to the mud hole and turn left.